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In Florida, you can snorkel with Jesus and then puke on one of his amusement park rides at the Holyland Experience. Who cares who won the NBA playoffs? LeBron chose Fporida over New York, and that still feels good.

Fidel Castro will eventually die. And when he does, we'll pop over to Havana for one-night ragers whenever we flipping feel like it. Florida is the Mia,i place in the world you can find alligators and crocodiles living in the same ecosystem.

Are you impressed yet? Remember the presidential election debacle?

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Yeah, well, we didn't actually mess shit up and leave our chads dangling. It was an elaborate hoax by Anonymous. Florida Southern College has the world's largest collection of Frank Lloyd Wright buildings on a single site.

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Warm & Humid Out, Cooler & Drier Air InSouth Florida is about to get a taste of cooler temperatures after a week of very warm and humid weather. The Latest: Students Resume Classes At Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Amid An Increased Security Presence. Debate and protests continue to rage over how to respond to the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, that left 17 students and faculty members dead. Relatives of a year old are angry the teenager was shot and killed by a homeowner who police say was protecting her property.

People want to get to Florida so fast asd wear diapers so they don't have to waste time on bathroom breaks. Your food store's ethnic section is our entire grocery store.

We have Anglo sections instead. Not only are our cities often voted most attractive in America, but also even our store mannequins have DDD breasts.

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You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter s - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in! Our state capitol building looks like a giant schlong and a pair of balls. It has an even bigger dick working inside it.

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To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy. Or sign in with a social account: New Times staff September 14, 9: Marina Anderson, the Mermaid at Wreck Bar.

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